i saw the lord seated on the throne

and he was clothed in glory and exalted high

and the train of his robe fills the temple

and angels gather round him and cry

you are holy

oh so holy

you are holy lord of all

and woe is me

for i am unclean

for my eyes have seen the holy king

and he cleansed my lips

right before my eyes

and the pillars shook

as the angels cried

you are holy

oh so holy

you are holy lord of all

as i am listening to that song i am writing this. i was thinking back over the summer of something that meant so much to me and was so important to me and i thought i would share it with you.

well as most of you know i went away this past summer for a month to work at a camp in florida. it was a christian camp. well before i left i was packing everything i needed and was going over the checklist. well right before i walked out the door i realized i had forgotten to buy a notebook. so mom handed me this cheezy one that someone in the church had given her. it had parrots in the jungle on the front of it. well i didnt think much about it or really even look at it i just stuffed it in my bag.

so at camp every morning we had a thing called "quiet time" where we all went off on our own and prayed and read our bibles and for some of us wrote in our journals. well also i think you should know that ladies of lee does a song that has the same words as you are holy and i sang it all the time and absolutely loved it so needless to say that scripture was my favorite scripture. but you see the funny thing is i didnt even know the scripture address of it. well one morning in quiet time i was singing you are holy (because i absolutely love it with all of my heart) and just praying and worshipping. well i grabbed that notebook mom had given me (my journal for the time) and was gonna write the scripture and the words to both of those songs on the back of the front cover. well as i was writing the lyrics i realized i didnt know the scripture address. well i found myself becoming very discouraged because i couldnt find it anywhere in my bible. well right as i was about to give up looking for it i closed the cheezy notebook and just happened to look on the cover. and as clear as day there was the scripture on the front with the scripture address! i dont even know how i had not seen it at all until then. i had written in that notebook for days and had not seen it! so i was so happy and began to just praise jesus for revealing it to me.

ever since then everytime i hear that song the glory of god just fills me up and i feel like i am in heaven. a few weekends ago mom and i went to sing at a t.l. lowery conference and one night ty parker was singing you are holy. it could quite possibly be one of the most beautiful things i've ever heard. well as we were singing it i felt so close to god. everyone was praising and it i felt like we were in heaven like thats what heaven is going to sound like. it was so amazing. even afterwards mom and julie howard said they had thought the same thing. so as you can see this song means so much to me and has done so much for me and is so powerful. it's my favorite.

roommates wear me out

so the roommates are really wearing me out. i don't think they understand the concept of privacy. they just come in my room whenever they want. they drink my coke out of my cup without even asking me or really even considering that drinking after me might be grose. they are loud and like to have sex and get drunk but then claim they are christians. that really burns me up. so let's just say i cannot wait for these last 4 weeks of school to be over with so they can give me back my privacy agh!

where is the justice?

isnt it amazing how a person can study and study and then still not know anything on the test? that's what is cruel about being in college. i can go to the library for 5 hours and be so excited because i am about to ace that puppy and then when it is time for the test...yep thats right...there is still stuff on there that i have never even heard of. where is the justice? i think the professors need to chill out a little. it is just one test they dont need to make every one the hardest test i've ever taken in my life...agh!

where did it all go?

so this is my first post. sorry it has taken so long and i'm also sorry because this one i don't think is going to be very exciting.
i am just gonna go ahead and get this out...and don't feel like you have to come and talk to me about this in fact i don't really want you to i just want you to listen...
i miss church so much. i am tired of being so hurt. when am i gonna get to be happy again? i have been hurt so bad in the past, probably more than a lot of you even realize because i hide it... i'm tired of crying all the time, i'm tired of being lonely and not having a church anymore, i'm tired of not getting to sing like i used to, i'm tired of not being as close to God as i used to be, and i am so so sad that my dad is not a pastor anymore. i loved it so much. why do people have to be so mean? we went there to help them and they run us off, abuse me, take my favorite part of my life away from me and dont even apologize. i am so tired of going to churches and seeing their youth groups and being bitter towards them because i am so jealous. i dont wanna go to church anymore and wish it was my dad's church. i am so hurt...i want my teenage years back and i want my happiness back. why did my sisters have it so easy and everything revolved around me it's not fair
so i am sorry for all of you who were excited about reading my first post, anticipating the joy you were gonna get from it and now i have just ruined your whole day but i had to let ya'll know how i feel...no one realizes how hurt i am and i had to let someone else know besides justin. i promise my next post will be a little more uplifting and happy. and please please dont come talk to me about this i just had to get it out